I just stopped, stopped being on call EVERY MINUTE of the day? I don't know why but over the last week or so I am just DONE, I am completely drained and have no energy. I really wonder how this house would look if I just let the girls do whatever they wanted, didn't pick up after them and just became one of those mom's who let's their kids go crazy and just hung back and watched. I have noticed that lately I am no fun and crabby all the time. You know the saying that all mom's need a break, well this mom is at her breaking/done point for sure. It is even more frustrating to me because Cory doesn't seem to notice/understand what I am going through right now. I try to talk to him and tell him how I really need him to help me out more (not that he isn't a great husband/daddy because he is) but when he gets home from work he is tired for different reasons and his weekends have been all about the bathroom. When he asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day my answer was "a day of not having to be the one in charge all day. I don't want to have to do anything from cutting up lunch/dinner to saying when it is bedtime." People say good luck and that I am crazy to think this will happen, but you know what I really hope that it does, if it doesn't you might just see this mom completely LOSE IT!
I really think that this whole bathroom situation is weighing on me already. It has been 4 weekends of no breaks for mom. This past weekend he didn't even have time to work on the bathroom because Saturday morning we had a garage sale then in the afternoon he worked up at the front of our neighborhood entrance doing new landscaping. He and two other neighbors were up there for 3.5 hours needless to say our neighborhood has a bunch of lazy people. Anyways....Sunday he worked outside planting flowers and mowing the lawn. I told him that I need him to PLAY with them, distract them so they don't want ME! His answer was I am outside they can come out and see me, well that worked for all of about 30 minutes and then they were bored and inside wanting me.
Right now as I type this entry I feel SO guilty for having these feelings of wanting/needing to get away from my children. Am I the only mom out there who has these feelings? What do all of you do to get some alone time, or just some fun with my husband again, how do you get regenerated/refreshed so you are that fun mommy again?
Julie, What you are feeling is TOTALLY normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being mom is THE hardest, most underappreciated job we will ever have. What gets me through the really hard days, when you feel no one knows all you do, is knowing that God sees everything we do at every minute of our daily lives. What we do matters!!! Even just getting out alone with your ipod and walking in the evening is great! Hope you are eating something naughty tonight after you get the girls down, and watch a good chick flick:)
ReplyDeleteYou need girls nights. I get together with my girlfriends (my friends from college) one night every other month, or sometimes it's once/month usually on a Friday, but I try to go a little later so that I can spend some time with Drew for awhile after work. But it's healthy, I enjoy spending time with them and we usually talk about mommy/marriage/family stuff. We could always do a girls night with Lori if you want - we could do dinner/drinks (not for Lori) and movie or whatever. You also should do a weekend getaway with Cory, The girls are plenty old enough now and it's healthy not only for you, and your marriage, but for the girls too to be away from you. Even if it's just tagging on to one of his business trips. HAng in there. I know I would be the same way if I were home. But she's right, what you're feeling is normal.
ReplyDeleteI would totally be up for a girls night!
ReplyDeletei totally feel your pain...i often wonder about "quitting" as well. if only. and then, yes, as i write, i feel guilty about it. totally mom guilt. will be praying you get through...and remember, life is always better in the morning :)
ReplyDeleteLove this post, Julie. Because it makes me feel normal, too. Keep the faith:)
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